AIN’T NOTHING LIKE THE REAL THING

Lemon Curd Marble Muffins, River Cottage Every Day by Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall

Coffee.  Coffee.  Coffee. Coffeecoffeecoffee. It’s an addiction.  And it’s getting worse.  I don’t know whether it’s the weather, the darker mornings or the cold – or whether it’s just a self-perpetuating addiction.  Given that my poison of choice is a black Americano; this will not delight my dentist – nor me, when I end up paying obscene amounts of money for teeth-whitening treatments (today’s purchase: “Blanx” – panic-bought after three days at the coal face). 

I’ve done my best to kick the habit by turning to other drinks.  My caffeine intake is supplemented with huge mugs of tea throughout the day so that’s simply another vice to add to the list.  I’ve tried hot squash which has only ever results in a sugar rush and my office smelling like a child’s sick-room.  Fruit teas are my nemesis – my stomach is tricked into thinking that a delicious berry-scented meal is imminent and I become so ravenous that I’m ready to eat my own arm before I’ve even finished the cup. 

In sum, substitutes just don’t cut it.  Robinson’s Peach Barley will never deliver the caffeine jolt or flavour of coffee.   Margarine doesn’t even touch butter when spread over hot toast.   Fanta Orange will never best NI’s finest, Club Orange.  And I’m not sure what Special K bars are even supposed to substitute; they’re so vile, it’s not even worth speculating.  Is there anything worse than a Special K bar...?  Answers on a postcard, please.

Having banged on about the hideousness of substitutes; I am now going to confess to having baked a recipe last weekend for which I had none of the ingredients but was grimly determined to attempt.   The only solution was to ransack my cupboards and SUBSTITUTE.  I could, of course, have nipped next door to Tesco but that would have meant braving the torrential rainstorm outside.  No, thank you.   Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall’s recipe for Lemon Curd Marble Muffins (the official title) became Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall’s recipe for Forest Fruit Muffins with a bit of jam mixed through.   Completely unconsciously, they also took on a somewhat healthier aspect than originally intended as the plain yoghurt specified in the recipe was swapped for the 0% Fat Greek Yoghurt languishing in my fridge and I replaced unsalted butter with Stork.   

 

I began by creating two separate mixtures; as recommended by HFW - dry ingredients together in one bowl and wet ingredients in a jug.

 

I added the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients bit by bit.  HFW recommends not over-mixing and, although I am the least technical baker on the block, I would reiterate his recommendation!  I once made the mistake of treating a muffin mixture like cake mix and ended up with very squidgy, damp and flat muffins – and none of the above in any way that could be considered good.  
 

Once the wet and dry ingredients were combined, I stirred through the jam and added my forest fruits.  I used berries from a frozen mix rather than fresh fruit.   Although this decision was motivated entirely by a reluctance to leave the house rather than premeditation; frozen fruit tends to work better anyway because the fruit keeps it shape when baked and the berry juice doesn’t seep through the mixture.  Mmmmm.
 

Baking time for these lovelies is about 30 minutes or just over – just make sure that the top looks golden rather than pale yellow.   

All in, this recipe is a bit of a winner – low time-/cost-investment for a pretty high return.  The muffins look appetising, went down extremely well and don’t require the technical precision usually required by baking.  They were certainly none the worse for the ingredients swap and, most importantly, didn’t taste like a low-fat substitution.

Now – does anyone have a wonder substitute for coffee that I haven’t tried yet?

Recipe below – good luck!

 

Lemon Curd Marble Muffins

Ingredients

·         225g plain flour

·         2 tsp baking powder

·         A good pinch of sea salt

·         100g caster sugar

·         1 medium egg

·         125g plain yoghurt

·         125ml whole milk

·         75g unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled

·         150g lemon curd

 

Method

1.       Put 12 large paper cases into a muffin tray. Put the flour, baking powder, salt and caster sugar in a large bowl and whisk lightly to aerate and combine.

2.       Mix the egg, yoghurt, milk and melted butter together in a jug. Pour them into the dry ingredients and mix lightly, stopping as soon as everything is combined – it’s essential not to over-mix or you’ll get dense, cakey muffins.

3.       Spoon a some mixture into each muffin case and top with a generous ½ teaspoonful of lemon curd. Add a final spoonful of muffin mixture to encase the lemon curd and three-quarters fill the cases.

4.       Bake in an oven preheated to 180°C/gas mark 4 for about 30 minutes until golden brown. Transfer to a wire rack to cool. Eat on the day you bake them, ideally while still slightly warm.

 

Variations – all at the suggestion of HFW and in his own words

 Jammy Muffins : replace the lemon curd with your favourite jam, first beating it lightly to soften slightly. Thick, fruity jams work best – a strawberry jam containing whole strawberries is perfect.

Chocolate Marble Muffins: replace the lemon curd with 150g chocolate hazelnut spread (warm it gently first, so it’s easier to marble).

Fruity Muffins : replace the lemon curd with 1 large, or 2 small ripe bananas, thoroughly mashed; or 75g blueberries; or 75g stoned and halved cherries; or 75g raisins or other dried fruit, such as chopped dried apricots. Stir the fruit into the mixture lightly and quickly, just before piling into the cases.